What makes you happy?

This random question was thrown at me yesterday by someone who's almost a stranger. Needless to say, even though I know myself well enough to spontaneously answer a question like this, I was nevertheless dumbstruck as to what to say - and how much I wanted to reveal about myself to this person I hardly knew, and who hardly knew me. I chose to laugh it off, and realized later the personal nature of a question like this. It's depth really got my attention. Sounds innocuous enough, but I wonder how many people can answer this question about themselves without getting all caught up with their favorite icecream flavor :-)!

For that matter, how many of us know who we really are? Writers are reminded again and again that in order to write, it's important to 'have a voice'. I believe that in our lives too, having a voice is important - to stand for something, to have an opinion. And it is equally important that this voice be 'authentic', and doesn't just 'say what others want to hear'.

I once attended a talk by an erstwhile Montreal writer Joe Fiorito, who was invited by one of my writers' groups to give a talk on writing and publishing. He had a lot to say about 'developing a voice' and at the end during question time, someone asked him, "And how, Mr. Fiorito, does one develop a voice?" "To have a voice," replied the intrepid Mr. Fiorito, "get a life!" Some in the audience snickered, others chuckled politely. I stared open-mouthed at the speaker ... what a concept! --to 'get a life!' ... to the sitting-on-the-fence Libra part of me this was a watershed moment. I realized then why I had not pursued my one biggest passion, to write, because somewhere inside me lurked a part that knew that to write one must take a stand, have an opinion, be unafraid to voice it, knowing everybody will not agree with me - having a voice then, automatically means holding yourself aloft and being courageous in the face of dissenting voices, and disagreements - it means never again being a 'people-pleaser', having no backbone, swaying in whichever direction the wind blows around you.

My answer to the person who asked me the above question, if I'd known him better, would surely have been: What makes me happy is to be in places and company, where I can have the freedom to be ME, speaking in my authentic voice without having to bite my tongue to avoid hurting someone - knowing they are not ready to hear what I have to say! This is not to say we can't love and like others who are not on our wave-lengths ... that's not the topic here - it's about the question, what makes us happy.

Tomorrows entry will have someone helpful tips on discovering who you are :-), or at least having more clarity about it.

Kiki ;-)