Is it 'selfish' to take care of ourselves first?

bvgTo take care of ourselves first, or not, is always a choice. However, the consequences of the two choices, might be vastly different. Evaluate the consequences, and choose which scenario is for you.

In the first, if we focus only on 'giving, and more giving' we will realize soon enough, the well has dried up, and there's nothing left to give. We can often get so focused on 'giving' that we don't remember to 'replenish our stocks', of time, energy, health among others. Even if we do remember, but do nothing about taking care of our needs, because of guilt, or a host of other self-sabotaging beliefs, the result will be the same -- a point will be reached when there'll be nothing available to us to share. And nothing left to give. It doesn't take rocket science to understand that if you ask someone to lend you $50, they can give it to you only if they have it - and not, if they don't!

The second scenario is most easily explained by what you're told when you are in a plane, taking a flight. When the safety features are explained you are always told that in an emergency, if there's a drop in cabin pressure, you must wear your own oxygen mask first, and then help the child or an elderly person not in a position to wear their own masks. The logic is simple - if you started helping others without taking care to wear your own mask, and you started getting panicky and confused due to a lack of oxygen to yourself, you'll end up helping nobody, and probably harm the ones you love and want to help.

This second scenario is not to be confused with out and out selfishness, a hallmark of narcissism, but a keeping of balance between giving and receiving. It is quite astonishing to see how many people are great at giving, but are so embarrassed to receive. I used to be one such person myself, but changed when I became aware of the imbalance in myself - when I discovered that underlying the modesty and humility, and the sheer embarrassment of 'receiving', was a deeper belief that 'I didn't deserve'! Gosh - the things we do to ourselves, stemming from unconscious belief systems. Well, in this festive season especially, let's go forth, let's give much, and receive much :-)!

Kiki ;-)