The next few steps

After doing the first step, proceed by going back in time to a moment when a similar experience took place. You didn't have the money or resources to acquire something you really wanted to have. Get into the details of the incident/event. Once again explore your emotions, naming them, and truly FEELING them.

Continue this process by going to an earlier, time and connecting with a similar experience.

Then, go to yet another, and still earlier time in your life when you had another similar experience.

Continue with the steps till you can't get to a younger age. Mind you, the younger you can go to the better this will work. That's why doing an exercise like this with a trained guide is more beneficial but nevertheless, doing it however you can is better than not attempting it.

At the end of the exercise, you probably got in touch with an incident or event where a fairly simple, or small need of yours was not met.

My own example of this exercise brought an amazing memory recall of being 4 or 5 and being given some money by my mother to offer at the alter in an Indian temple. While waiting our turn outside, I was approached by a candy-seller and I exchanged the money my mother had given me for a piece of candy. Pretty soon she discovered what I had done, and being a stickler for what we ate (too much candy was not part of it) she scolded the candy-seller and made me return my 'shopping'. I recalled then that I had been deeply disappointed. Seen in isolation, this may be an everyday event in a child's life, but the fact of its showing up when I was consciosly looking for answers to a certain dysfunctional behavior in myself said volumes about what needed healing in me.

So, at the end of your own exercise, when you connect with what it was that you were denied, take yourself shopping and buy that object, or anything else that feels like a good enough substitute, for yourself.

Try it -- you'll be on your way to beginning the healing ptrocess within.

Kiki ;-)
P.S. My request to those who 'borrow' from this blog is to please give adequate credit to the source of the borrowed information - whether me, or books and people I quote from. Thank you.

If interested you may contact me for further investigation of this exercise. This work can be done by phone also.

Charity begins at HOME - and this home is YOU :-)!

Yep - that's the missing piece in all of this. YOU are the home that needs the charity FIRST. And THIS is the way to take care of the saboteur we talked about in yesterday's post. By meeting the deep unmet needs of this saboteur, we create a shift in its raison d'etre...

What then are the steps to 'give' charity to this 'home' which is you? The following steps are a start and should provide a simple start to an ongoing path of self-discovery and self-nurturing.

Step 1:

Think about the last time that you really wanted something as you ventured into a store but didn't have the cash or resources to buy it. (Chances are very good that it wasn't a Mercedes Benz :-)!) Close your eyes and deepen the awareness of this experience in as much detail as possible. Recall the day, the time of day, what you were wearing, who was with you, and now really slow down and recall what your emotions were as you realized you could not have this thing that you would have dearly loved to have.

Use words to name the emotions: frustrated; irritated; angry; sad; despondent; hopeless; a victim; less than others; pathetic etc. etc. Make a note of the emotions. Close back your eyes and truly experience the emotions that came up.

The next few steps are in the next post. Cheer up -- your life isn't as sucky as you think it is... and what you don't like about it you can change -- and THAT is my promise to you :-)!

Kiki ;-)
P.S. My request to those who 'borrow' from this blog is to please give adequate credit to the source of the borrowed information - whether me, or books and people I quote from. Thank you.

So, who is the saboteur in you?

If you had been reading this blog from the beginning, your hand would be up. You'd know the answer to this question :-).

The saboteur, that stops you from manifesting your ideal life is one or several parts of you, within you. Sounds awful and a bit scary I know. But this is very useful information to have because unless we know the enemy, how are we going to deal with it? And actually the saboteurs within us are pretty pathetic, because they developed as a result of thwarted wishes and desires from a long, long time ago. From a time when due to insufficient physical, or mental, or emotional, or financial, or even spiritual development, we were not able to take care of ourselves and meet our own needs, wants and desires. We were dependent on others for these who didn't always understand their importance in our lives. The unmet needs created a negative energy space within and we felt like victims -- perhaps buying into the belief that we didn't deserve, or were not good enough to have this thing we wanted so badly. These beliefs are examples of what these saboteurs might be, and each time that we come close to achieving what WE, the adult present part of us desires, along comes the saboteur from a long time ago to wave the flag in our face, screaming: NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE THIS - YOU DON'T DESERVE IT.

How can we fix this? Please see the next blog.

Kiki ;-)
P.S. My request to those who 'borrow' from this blog is to please give adequate credit to the source of the borrowed information - whether me, or books and people I quote from. Thank you.

If money were no object...

... what would you like to have in your life? This is a question I often ask my clients. It is a question that almost always follows the first one which is: 'What would you like to have in your life?' -- to which the invariable answer is a desire for money, very often huge, humungous amounts of it. Oh, I have nothing against money -- money is great to have, because having it provides us with a tangible resource to exchange for whatever it is we need. However, obsessing only about a dollar amount is like putting the cart before the horse, instead of the other way around. What most people don't know or realize is that focusing upon what you would DO with that money shortens its manifestation in your life. Here's what we think:

Step 1: Have money

Step 2: Buy what we need/want

Step 3: Feel happy

And I lknow most of you would be very surprised if I told you that the way this actually happens is the inverse. How it actually happens is:

Step 1: FEEL happy. Close your eyes and really SEE yourself happy. This might happen quickly or may take a while if you are stuck in a victim mode, a fear mode, pre-occupied with unhappy thoughts that are actually not nurturing you or nourishing your heart.

Step 2: SEE yourself as you would be if your desire were already manifested. How would you FEEL then? How joyful would you be? This is also a good stage for a confirmation by you within, if this is indeed what you need or want. If its hard to connect with a sense of joy, skip this desire andallow another one to emerge in your mind. Then follow the same procedure.

Step 3: The desire will manifest. Keep an open mind. Don't be attached to the exact form or shape; keep focusing on feeling joy in your heart.

Why can I say this with so much certainty? It's because this is what I do, and it works for me.

Is it really as simple as that? Yes - if you take some time each day on your personal growth and try to become more peaceful within, less bitter, deal with your fears. Also, it will take much longer if done by yourself, and or with the help of self-help books. But if you work with a professional traied to help and guide you, a cakewalk :-)!

Kiki ;-)
P.S. My request to those who 'borrow' from this blog is to please give adequate credit to the source of the borrowed information - whether me, or books and people I quote from. Thank you.

And this, IS TRUE...

... for me, and hosts of others who took charge of their lives and did, or are doing, everything they can to snap out of a victim mind-state... and thus living empowered lives, filled with bliss and joy. After extensive and intensive education, and experiential investigation, I discovered the 'simple facts' that we may use as guideposts to stay on track on our life-journey, and to live empowered lives. These facts may actually be considered the ground rules for living, but most people, sadly, aren't even aware of them. And even if they are, they dismiss them as 'mumbo-jumbo'. More's the pity!

After much search and experimenting, I discovered the afore-mentioned TRUTH in the Abraham-Hicks material (google these words for more info and their website), and material from Mike Dooley (www.tut.com). The simplicity of what IS true is dealt with so beautifully by these two sources. Below is a quote from the Abraham-Hicks material:

"There is no condition that you cannot modify into something more, any more than there is any painting that you can paint and not like and just paint over it again. There are many limiting thoughts in the human environment that make it feel like it is not so, as you have these incurable illnesses, or these unchangeable conditions. But we say, they are only "unchangeable" because you believe that they are."

Excerpted from a workshop in San Antonio, TX on Saturday, April 21st, 2001

***************************

Change your thinking - change your life!

Kiki ;-)
P.S. My request to those who 'borrow' from this blog is to please give adequate credit to the source of the borrowed information - whether me, or books and people I quote from. Thank you.

Strange Miracle

This is another couplet from Daniel Ladinsky's book on Hafiz' translations, I Heard God Laughing:

STRANGE MIRACLE

O wondrous creatures,
By what strange miracle
Do you so often
Not smile?

**********************

Yes, why indeed, I ask myself? Why don't we humans stop being our own worst enemies? Why don't we connect with JOY? Bring it into our hearts, and smile - and smile...

Wondering,

Kiki ;-)
P.S. My request to those who 'borrow' from this blog is to please give adequate credit to the source of the borrowed information - whether me, or books and people I quote from. Thank you.

What ELSE can we do?

I'm not one to anymore use vocabulary such as Life is a Battle, things are rough etc. But do love this quote from Thucydides - (c. 460 BC – c. 395 BC)- an Athenian Aristocrat and War Historian:

"But the bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding go out and meet it."

And this is what we have to do while alive... put out our best foot, and follow it with another, and another. And glory and success will be yours! But mind you - YOU will give menaing to these two words -- don't forget that the race is with yourself, and yourself alone -- and THE BEST DESCRIPTION OF SUCCESS according to me is, LIVING YOUR DAYS EXACTLY AS YOU WANT TO LIVE THEM.

Kiki ;-)
P.S. My request to those who 'borrow' from this blog is to please give adequate credit to the source of the borrowed information - whether me, or books and people I quote from. Thank you.

My personal First-Aid Kit, for when 'bad things' happen

Firstly, there is no such thing as BAD things :-) -- everything is perception. But given our human experience, and our emotions, that can step onto a roller coaster without any notice, it's important to know how to take care of ourselves when 'stuff' happens.

This is what my First-Aid Kit consists of:

- The first thing I do is to drink some water. Water restores the circuit of the chi/ki/electrical energy of the body which short-circuits when unpleasant thinga happen, and the body has a neagtive emotional reaction.

- The second thing I do is to connect with my solar plexus and take account of what's going on there. That's where 'fear' is experienced. Using my breath I keep breathing out the 'bad' sensation felt there until my body regains a sense of balance, and I regain a sense of equilibrium. How long this will take depends entirely on how much inner work someone has done. It's a relief now for me to 'pick myself up' in minutes,instead of the earlier hours, or days, or months, perhaps years ;-)...

- Next I use one of the many essential oil blends (pure, organic should be the only ones used) to either smell or use directly on the solar plexus and/or anywhere else I'm drawn to applying some. Some of them are blends named Forgiveness, Grounding, Inner Child, Into The Future etc.

The above three steps are sufficient to lead yourself out of the woods, and then move to the next stage of dealing with the issue at hand.

More on this in the next post...

Kiki ;-)
P.S. My request to those who 'borrow' from this blog is to please give adequate credit to the source of the borrowed information - whether me, or books and people I quote from. Thank you.

When BAD things happen...

...ask yourself these questions:

- Have I been in an emotionally charged/negative state lately?
- How long have I stayed there -- hours? days? months?
- Did I invade someone's boundaries?
- Did I explode with anger at someone because they didn't live up to my expectations?
- Did I stray into someone's life and tried to control them?

Well, I'm sorry to tell you that the above actions are what rebounded as unpleasant situations in YOUR life.

So what can you do now?

First, please uderstand that the root of all the above behaviours is a fear of loss of something, or some sort e.g. loss of love, of prestige, of attention from others, loss of face etc. After you find these fears within, evaluate them one by one to see what price you are paying for having these fears. There are many posts in this blog to help you resolve these, mostly baseless, fears. For further help, please feel free to write to me.

Don't be your own worst enemy...

Kiki ;-)
P.S. My request to those who 'borrow' from this blog is to please give adequate credit to the source of the borrowed information - whether me, or books and people I quote from. Thank you.

FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND

This seems to be the week for my favorite collection of writings. Here is another which you may or may not have read before. It too, like 'Desiderata' has an interesting history.

FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you."


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History, as mentioned on the website footprintsonthesand.com:

Footprints in the Sand has been seen in print by people the world over since the late 1940's. All that time no author has been credited with this immortal work, only 'Author Anonymous' has appeared at the bottom. This web site was created to bring to light the story behind 'Footprints in the Sand' and its author Mary Stevenson (Zangare).

For many years handwritten copies were distributed by Mary to those who needed something to give them comfort at a low point in their lives. It was sometime after this that friends of Mary saw it in print and wondered why she wasn't given credit for writing it. An attorney at that time told her that it would be very hard to prove her the author since it had been used by many publishers of religious materials and greeting cards. Mary wrote 'Footprints' in 1936 when she was very young and knew nothing of copyrighting. Discouraged she didn't pursue it any further.

In 1984 while cleaning out the garage to prepare to move from her house, in a small suitcase, among her other poems, she rediscovered a very old handwritten copy that she thought was lost. It was one of the copies Mary had made and dated 1939, just three years after she wrote the original. Later that year the U.S. copyright office awarded her a copyright for 'Footprints in the Sand' 48 years after it was written. It was another 11 years before her handwritten copy was authenticated by a forensic specialist as to its age.

I hope you enjoy the beauty of the thought, and the vividness of the picture created by these words,

Kiki ;-)
P.S. My request to those who 'borrow' from this blog is to please give adequate credit to the source of the borrowed information - whether me, or books and people I quote from. Thank you.

DESIDERATA (Latin for 'Desired Things')

Beautiful words (poem), written around 1927 by Max Ehrmann - as true and valid today as when it was first written:

DESIDERATA

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

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Please note:

A lot of confusion has followed this piece of writing. I myself, when I first found these words somewhere in the 1970s, believed they were written in 1692. But here is its history from Wikipedia.

The author is Max Ehrmann, a poet and lawyer from Terre Haute, Indiana, who lived from 1872 to 1945. It has been reported that Desiderata was inspired by an urge that Ehrmann wrote about in his diary:

"I should like, if I could, to leave a humble gift -- a bit of chaste prose that had caught up some noble moods."

Around 1959, the Rev. Frederick Kates, the rector of St. Paul's Church in Baltimore, Maryland, used the poem in a collection of devotional materials he compiled for his congregation. (Some years earlier he had come across a copy of Desiderata.) At the top of the handout was the notation, "Old St. Paul's Church, Baltimore A.D. 1692." The church was founded in 1692.

As the material was handed from one friend to another, the authorship became clouded. Copies with the "Old St. Paul's Church" notation were printed and distributed liberally in the years that followed. It is perhaps understandable that a later publisher would interpret this notation as meaning that the poem itself was found in Old St. Paul's Church, dated 1692. This notation no doubt added to the charm and historic appeal of the poem, despite the fact that the actual language in the poem suggests a more modern origin. The poem was popular prose for the "make peace, not war" movement of the 1960s.

Enjoy,

Kiki ;-)
P.S. My request to those who 'borrow' from this blog is to please give adequate credit to the source of the borrowed information - whether me, or books and people I quote from. Thank you.